Confidence ยท Article
How to sound more confident when you're nervous
Sounding louder or lower won't do it. Nerves show up in the body first, as held breath and tension, and that's what people hear. Ten minutes before a big talk, sigh it out. A big sigh of relief releases the extra tension in your body.
Why "just be more confident" doesn't help
Most confidence advice is about the outside. Stand taller and speak lower. None of that sticks when your body is telling you you're under threat, because the tension is still there underneath.
When you're nervous, your breath gets high and shallow and your jaw tightens. Your voice comes out thinner and faster, and people read that as nerves, however good your material is.
Ten minutes before you speak
Find somewhere quiet, even a corridor or a bathroom. Breathe in through your nose, then let it go with a big, audible sigh of relief, the kind you'd give at the end of a long day. Do it a few times. Let your shoulders drop on each one.
It might feel silly at first. The sigh lets go of the tension you've been holding, and your next breath drops lower without you having to force it.
Know your first line
Nerves are worst in the first thirty seconds. Know exactly what your first sentence is, and say it out loud before you go in. Once that's out, most people settle.
Practise out loud with other people
Rehearsing in your head isn't the same as saying it to a room. The more often you speak in front of people in a low-stakes setting, the less your body treats it as a threat. That's why I built The Practice Rooms, a six-month group programme where you get regular, supported practice speaking in front of others.
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